


A night to remember

by tiny_pun



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous!Geralt, Jealous!Jaskier, Jealousy, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_pun/pseuds/tiny_pun
Summary: After Geralt accused him of a great many things, Jaskier wandered around, not knowing what to do or who he is. One day an old friend of his convinces him to come back home and take on his responsibilietes as a viscount.Months later Geralt accomanies Yen to a feast, where they meet a polite and professional Lord Pankratz. The are convinced he is crused. If only things where that easy.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Kudos: 208





	A night to remember

He had known this was gonna end like this.   
All those years ago, when he had first laid eyes on him he known there were only two options for how this is gonna play out. There always are only 2 options with people like him. The kind of people, others insult or pretended not to see. The kind, that could traumatize a weaker man with a piercing glare. The kind who sat brooding in the darkest corner and 2 very big, very scary swords as their only companion. 

So before he even made step into his direction, he knew: Either he has enough charm for the handsome stranger to share a night with him, that they will fall into a night of passion, that he won't ever forget and cherish a life time or .... or he will be dead before the sun sets.   
And although he was still young, had all his life laid out before him, able to chose any path he could want, he chose this one. 

Cause what other path was there, than one of a promising adventure for a viscount turned bard, travelling the world alone with a lute as his only companion and songs in his head making up for the voices of a home he won't ever step foot into again ?  
And when he realised the true identity of the handsome stranger... well what else could he have done than to follow him? And that's what he did.

Though they never did share the nights in the way the bard had hoped, he did get to know him far better than anyone else. He did get to accompany him on adventures better than any fairy tale he had been read to as a child. He did find a muse like no one else.  
Of course there were nights he hoped, the first option would come true but he was just glad that the latter one never became true either. Cause it was clear that though his love never wanted him, he never wanted anyone else either. And thanks to his compositions, they're both known in every last corner of the land. A package deal. The witcher and his bard. So he was content in this unpredicted third option. 

But then, for one weak moment, he couldn't keep his mouth shut. One weak moment, that lead his witcher right into HER arms. One moment that changed his loves destiny for ever. He had seen first hand, what it was like to challenge destiny and though he could be foolish and naïve at times, he wasn’t stupid. So he knew that he will forever be his loves second concern. Maybe even third, when he would finally claim his child surprise. And content wasn't an option anymore. He was grateful for the times, she didn't disturb their dynamic and dreaded the times she did. 

So when his witcher agreed for them to join this adventure, just to be close to her again... he tried not to be consumed by misplaced envy. He wasn't his and thus he didn’t have a right to be envious. So instead he threw himself into wooing the two companions, that would never see him as desirable, just to get a distraction. If he was lucky, they would fall for him anyway. At least for a night. And if he was not, well than he successfully distracted himself long enough for this torture to be over. But it all failed, when they let go. When he himself tried to comfort his love, trying to make him stay for longer than a few weeks. When he just pushed him further into her arms.   
And as he witnessed their break up and a tiny, horribly envious part of him wanted to dance in relief, all he could see was the grief and anger in his loves eyes. So he tried to.. he wasn’t sure what he was trying to do. Distract him? Comfort him once more? But it didn’t matter. Cause before he could bring out a comprehensive thought about what to do now, he's being told all the reasons, he shouldn't be standing there, trying to comfort or distract his love in the first place. He barely tried to fight it, trying not to let the accusations get to him. But with a broken voice and quivering body, he glanced back at his love one last time, realising how foolish he had been.   
There never had been an option. Let alone a third one. It was always going to end in death. And though it's not a physical one, it's a death nonetheless. 

So he stumbled down the mountain, barely able to see where he was going but going nonetheless. It didn’t matter anyway. He could sing anywhere if he wanted to and if this wouldn’t sufficient than there were other ways to make more coins. He just needed to get down, needed to get away. Although a tiny part of him still hoped, that Geralt was just right behind him, yelling for him to stop and ready to apologize, a tiny part of him wanted to run back and beg for Geralt to.. what ? take him back ? Apologize for sins he didn’t commit? But he didn’t. He just kept walking. For once glad he was alone. That no one could see him like this. Not that it mattered. None of them had cared what his name was so why would they care if he was suddenly silent? If he was a mess? Would they even notice?  
So he kept walking and walking, deep into the night, only stopping once he reached the inn, they had stayed at. When he finally laid on his bed, his head hitting the pillow and his eyes closing, he was overwhelmed by the sudden realisation of exhaustion. He distantly noticed he hadn’t eaten in a day and a half and not taken a good bath for longer than that. He tried to sleep instead, tried not think of Geralts partening words but every time he forced himself to think of something else, something to make him fall asleep, they seemed to get louder and louder, screaming into his ear, consuming him whole. And he finally let himself shed a tear. And another. And another until there was a stream of tears running down his cheeks and he couldn’t stop it anymore. He cried until the first beams of the sun tickled his cheek and filled the room with a bright golden light. And the exhaustion of the walk and all of the past events took over and he finally fell into a dreamless sleep. 

From then on he aimlessly walked from town to town, changing his course whenever he heard rumors of a witcher or a monster nearby. He finished his last song about Geralt and Yennefer, torn between hoping they would hear it and understand it and hoping they never did. He composed a few new ones about people, whose face he couldn’t recall if he tried and places he was sure no one has ever heard of unless they lived there. It gave him a decent amount of coin to get wherever he needed to go. Not that he was needed anywhere anymore. 

Until one day, a few months down the line, everything changed. He had finished his round of songs as well as his meal and was about to head to his room, when suddenly someone set down right in front of him. “Hello Julian.” “Markus?” Jaskier greeted his old friend a little belated. They hadn’t seen each other since they where teens. “Good performance. They seem to really like you. But I expected nothing less from you!” Markus smiled. His dark eyes smiling just as bright. Jaskier didn’t know what to answer but he did know, there was no way, Markus was here just to tell him that. “What do you want?” , Jaskier demanded, ignoring the compliments. Markus smile fell. He sighed, looked down and than back up at him again. “Look, this isn’t how I- I know you don’t want to but-“, he broke off, seemingly unable to find the right words. “ Cut to the chase Markus. What. Do. You. Want? And without telling me how to feel if that’s possible.”  
He didn’t mean to so harsh. Especially not to an old friend. But lately he had trouble being anything else unless he was performing an act or his songs. Markus didn’t deserve an act though he didn’t deserve this coldness either. But it was the truest self he could give right now and Markus seemed to understand it. He always did. 

From then on everything went quite fast. Markus caught him on the politics form Letthoven,, sparing him the details for now. Apparently he was needed back home. His parents, though still kicking it, were getting slow, didn’t know much about the outside land as they needed to. Knowing that Jaskier was traveling the world, Markus had seen the opportunity to bring Jaskier back, to ,a make aments with his parents.  
“So it was you, who asked to retrieve me? “. Jaskier asked not with accusation but for clarification and maybe a bit of satisfaction. “Yes”, Markus agreed.   
So Markus had ridden out, following the whispers of the witchers bard. “Where is he anyway?”, Markus asked curiously, looking around. Any satisfaction he might have felt left his body instantly. “Don’t care.” Once again, Makrus seemed to be able to read him like a book and he didn’t ask follow up questions. Instead he explained, that he had hoped, Jaskier would agree to come back and take on his responsibilities as a Viscount. “Look. You don’t have to agree immediately. I`m gonna stay here the night anyway, so you can give me an answer tomorrow. Or however long you-“   
“I`ll do it.”, Jaskier cut in. 

Markus looked at him in shock. “Are you- no you wouldn’t agree if you weren’t sure. I`m so glad I could convince you!” Markus leaped over the table, pulling him into a tight hug. Jaskier let himself be hugged, ignoring the way it felt a little off, leaning into the hug instead. Ignoring the part of him that it wasnt Markus, who convinced him. That it was some one with white hair and lighter skin.   
Although Markus offered to drink and eat a little more free of his coin, he said his goodnights and went upstairs. Back in his room, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. 

When he looked back at the day on the mountain now, it barley seemed real. As if all of it happened to someone else. As if it was just a plot that happened to character in one of the fairy tales he had been read to as a child.   
He sighed. He stepped away from the door, examining the room. He had little to pack, only his jacket, some coins and the lute. Instead of going straight to his bed, he undress himself and lowered himself into the now barley warm water. And for once, he didn’t think of his past. With little interest he wondered what is was gonna be like to fully take on his duties instead.   
What faces would those lords make, when they found out he had been one of them all this time? Was he gonna ease into the job? What will his parents say? 

\----

The Alps claw only barely missed his face. He ducked, sprinted behind them and took a swing. Before he was able to hit, the alp turned around and threw him against the tree. “Fuck.” They were faster than Geralt had initially thought them to be. The alp had already been wounded prior to this fight, yet they barley missed any of their agility. They were stalking lazily towards him, smiling cruelly. Geralt huffed, jumped up with only a fraction of pain. They circled each other, each of them looking for a second spare to attack. The moment Geralt finally decided to do exactly that, the alp suddenly stopped right in their tracks, eye wide open in shocked, taking a few painful breaths and than collapsed onto the ground.   
This collapse revealed Yennefer, who now took the knife out of the alps back. Annoyed she said. “You could say a thank you once in a while, you know?” “I had it. “ “ Mhmm.”, She hummed. “Sure you did. What were you gonna do? Go in Circles until either of you collapsed to the ground with a dizzy head? “, she smirked. Geralt grunted, turned north, back to Ciri and his camp.

“So”, Geralt grunted, freshly out of the ice cold river near by. “Why are you here?” He took a bowl, filled it with stew and began eating. „Is he like this to you too?”, Yennefer address Ciri with a playful smirk. “So grumpy and full of accusations.” Ciri giggled into her food. “I think he is like this to everyone. Just to some more and some less.” Yennefer smiled, not entirely happily. “Not to everyone” Ciri looked up at her and than Geralt curiously but when he only shot Yen a glare, she knew not to ask. Geralt on the other hand tried not to think of bright blue eyes and an easy smile. He tried not to picture wild hand gestures or an unbuttoned shirt. Yens voice luckily brought him out of his head. 

“So anyway. You’re right. I’m not only here to say hello to my favourite little princess.” She smiled again and absently brushed a few hairs out of Ciris face.” I´m here because there is a feast I need to go to. And I cant show up alone. It will be in two weeks so prepare yourself accordingly.”   
Geralt shot her an annoyed look. “ And why would I go to a feast? Why don’t you ask your little servant?” “He is NOT my servant. And his name is Chireadan. He is not suited for this.”   
“Then ask Tissaia.” “I- I´m not even gonna touch this. You know she-“ “I know she would love to. Because you´re the one asking.” Yennefer’s expression was void of any emotions but Geralt knew her well enough, that she would’ve if it would’ve made even the slightest bit of sense to ask her instead of him. “Fine . I´ll go. What are we doing there?” Yennefer, shaking off any thought of her former Mentor turned .. something else, nodded satisfied. “Good. I just need some information and one or the other confirmation of a deal. But I need someone else there as a distraction. Someone else to stand in and tell them I went outside or to freshen up. Those lords and viscounts wouldn’t dare approach you but know they cant make any assumptions without asking first. Also if something goes wrong... I will need you to –“ Yeah I got it. Distract and protect. “ Yen nodded once more. She suddenly noticed how Ciri was now basically sleeping in her lap, so she gently woke her up enough, and walked her to her tent. “Oh and Geralt.” She looked back at him. “ Please wear something nice. I know you can do it.” He gave an uncommitting grunt. 

\----

Jaskier gave one last look into the mirror. Satisfied with it, he nodded unconsciously and went to meet Markus downstairs. The last month had been a lot. There had been a lot of cases to overlook here and a lot of preparations to be done there, hand kiss and a complimentary dinner at this end of the town and a dozen letters to towns nearby and of course meetings. Loads and loads of meetings that seemed more pointless the weeks went by. None of the lords had anything substantial to say and if they did, it ended in a discussion that seemed even more pointless and endless. But Jaskier. Or Lord Pankratz like he is known as now again, couldn’t complain. He had something to do. Sure it was stressful and not nearly as fulfilling than anything else he had done in the past decades but it kept him motivated. Kept him moving without moving too much. It kept him near old and some new friends he hadn’t though he was ever gonna see again. And so he was content. Sure he hadn’t touched his lute the whole month being back but to be fair, he didn’t even had time to think of playing it. 

What had surprised him the most is, that his parents had taken him back in gladly. Now that he though about it though, Markus had probably sent a letter, updating them on the developments and agreements. They hadn’t talked about anything. Not about the strict environment he had grown up in or the mischief he had caused to have some kid of release. They didn’t talk about the last dinner they shared together until his parents got too fed up and accused him of having ruined their lives. They didn’t talk about how he had manged to stay alive in this horrible world anyway. He had learned this from an early age on: His parents weren’t the talking type, rather liked to play happy family, no matter how big of a lie that was and it wasn’t like he had the energy to provoke another fight. Another break up. 

So instead they all pretend he had just been on a very long vacation. He didn’t mind as much as he probably should. But there wasn’t a lot anymore that he minded. If Markus or one of his parents asked him to accompany him on a small gathering or even go in their stat, he agree. It didn’t matter, that he didn’t like it. Just that he had something to do. After all, he didn’t even know himself what he liked to do. What he wanted his life to look like. Whether he wanted to marry and have a family on his own, if he wanted to just stay in politics and become more successful there or something completely else. But latter wasn’t really an option. And he liked it that way. Too many options are always risky, right? 

He stepped outside, where Markus was already waiting. They looked each other up and down. “You look like very nice.” , Jaskier complimented. The maroon suit complimented his dark complexion and the clean cut gave him an attractiveness he had rarely seen. He meant it. In another life, where hadn’t met- where he had never been thrown out, he would’ve surely married him. When they had been kids, they even had a playful marriage to bind them. But now? Markus deserved someone so much better. Someone who wasn’t reckless or too loud. Someone who doesn’t have an endless history of lovers. Someone who knows, who they are and what they want. Someone, who´s heart fully belongs to him and doesn’t have a part of it traveling the world and hunting mo- He stopped his train of thought right there.   
Markus smiled at him warmly. “You do too, my lord.” Jaskier just rolled his eyes but returned the smile. There were days in which he still wasn’t used be called anything but `Jaskier`; where anytime someone called him ´my lord´ or ´Lord Pankratzt´,it took everything in him not to flinch. Markus seemed to understand it. So he rarely called him anything but Julian. Just like he had always done.   
Without a look back, they climbed into the carriage and went on their way to the feast. 

\----

“Wow you actually found decent enough clothes. Colour me impress.”, Yen sassed. Ciri tired to hide a giggle and Geralt just grunted. He actually did try to make an effort. Ciri had helped him, since he didn’t know anything about fashion. Well not anything but he had know that whatever he would’ve taken, would not have been good enough. Additionally he tried to be a little more forthcoming. Claiming his child of surprise and amending his relationship with Yennefer had been a start. Trying to communicate with them was easier everyday. But going to a feast, where he didn’t have a job nor anything else to be doing but trying to keep an eye out for potential threats in the forms of too many questions? That was pushing it. But he did it anyway. They agreed that Ciri is supposed to stay put at the inn. Yen put a few protection spells on it and made otherwise sure that no one even thought about going in there. What’s a bit tempering with peoples memory of a seemingly non-existent room to secure the safety of a child?

As the stepped in the room, he half expected to be recognized again but luckily no one has noticed them yet. Or well. They did notice Yen but they didn’t comment on him. Some did throw him a look of recognition but none of them approached him, just like she had predicted it. Good. 

He followed her around a bit unsure of where to sit anyway. He wasn’t hungry yet so he stayed by her side. He watched her talking to a few of these lords. He wasn’t even sure, who was the host of this party. Nor what’s its purpose was. But as long as he didn’t run into any trouble he couldn’t care less.   
He finally had cased the whole room, seeing a few familiar faces himself, none of them important enough to approach himself or to avoid. 

Thus he took a closer look at the lord in front of him. Dark skin and darker eyes. The dark red clothes were clearly tailored. He could admit that he was attractive.   
“...But you can call me Markus”, the lord smiled warmly. “Than you may call me “Yennefer”, she smiled back just as warmly. He than nodded. Before Yennefer or Geralt could say anything else, Markus suddenly threw out a hand, stopping another person walking by. “Julian! Can I borrow you for a second? These are very important people I simply must introduce you to.” He had a certain melody in his voice, that clearly suggested a closeness between these two lords.   
This ´Julian´ wore a muted light blue garment, in a similar cut to Markus. He was about the same height as well. Before Geralt could further asses him though, Julian had already nodded curtly and turned around. “Of course.” 

Jaskier. Geralt suddenly went completely still. He barley knew how to breath let alone speak. What was he doing here? This wasn’t how he had planned this. Did he plan this really? No this was wrong. Julian? What was he supposed to say? Were they gonna act like nothing ever happened? Are they gonna fight again? All of those questions seemed to bombard him in a few moments and he didn’t know the answer to any of them. he wanted to reach out and touch him. Just to know if this is real. Just to feel him. But he couldn’t even move. 

“Yennefer this is my partner, Lord Pankratz. If were gonna work together its important that you know each other too.” Markus words finally broke him out of his head. He spared a glance towards Yennefer, who seemed to be just as surprised as he had been. Still was. But she, of course, had caught herself already, while he was still freaking out.   
“That won´t be a problem. We´re already familiar with each other.”, Juli- no Jaskier said. “Good to see you Yennefer.”, Jaskier nodded slightly towards Yen and then to Geralt. “You too, Geralt.”   
Geralt wanted to say something. Greet him. Say hi. Something about his outfit. Or the obvious question about him being here. But none of it seemed to be able to leave his lips. Luckily Yen intervened, saying something to them, that Geralt couldn’t hear anymore. Too caught up with the fact that Jaskier stood right in front of him. That apparently he was here not as a bard. That he didn’t need protection. That he was obviously here with this Markus.   
“Now excuse me, I have to attend to some other guests. It was lovely seeing you both again and I´m looking forward to working with you both.”, Jaskier nodded one last time and went towards another group of lords. “I’m afraid I must take my leave too. But I hope to share a drink or two with you later this night.”. Yennefer smiled curtly and Markus finally left. 

“Well these were definitely interesting developments.” , Yen mused. “What is he doing here?”, Geralt growled in confusion. “Connecting? Sucking up to other lords? Making an appearance? Just like any other lords I´m guessing?” “ But he – he isn’t – he is not a “ “A lord? Of course he is a lord Geralt! Please tell me you knew that? “ But the look of utter confusion said more than he could’ve said with words. “I always did wonder, why he went running around with you, when he clearly could just lay back and never leave his house instead. I mean I get the sense of adventure but cheap inns, disgusting ale and monster guts aren’t worth it. But I guess now we know why.” 

“Yennefer.” “Right. Sorry.” She looked ad him apologetic. “ Did you notice though? Of course you didn’t. He barley reacted to seeing either of us. That’s weird. He is like a puppy. Excited overly dramatic over everything. But he didn’t even blink an eye. And have you noticed the way he talked? “   
Geralt went over the whole conversation again. Than he turned towards where Jaskier was standing and watched him for a few moments. He stood upright, barley moving unless to answer a question. No hand gestures. No overly loud voice. No bouncing from side to side. He seemed to only answer in short sentences, letting the other take over the conversation.   
“Do you-Do you think he is cursed ? or something” This time it was Yennefer, who simply nodded and hummed. 

\-----

Markus was dragging him quietly away from the party, standing behind a column. “Soo that was THE Geralt? “ Jaskier nodded, unsure of how much he wanted to tell. He cant lie and say he wasn’t surprised by this turn of events. He defiantly didn’t expect either of them to appear to this seemingly insignificant feast between a few lords. He had assumed, that when, or rather if, he ever met Geralt or Yen for that matter, again, he would probably jump into his arms. Or punch him in the face. Anything. Anything else but that. But although he was surprised to see them... it seemed so insignificant now. 

Why did it matter to him so much anyway? Geralt and Yennefer had clearly been the end all be all type of couple and he had foolishly believed he could push destiny back a couple of years.. That he was just as important. Just because his witcher never galloped away from him. Or because he had saved him on multiple occasions. Or because he had made sure, he always had a meal and a bed. But maybe that was just a – he didn’t know what it was. But it didn’t matter now anymore anyway.   
So when he saw him , especially them both, in clothes that Geralt clearly would never chose for himself, its just felt so obvious, that this was gonna happen, he didn’t know how else to react. And if its one thing he had learned even better this past month it is staying professional no matter the circumstances. 

“Yes.”, he nodded in confirmation. “ I am so sorry, Julian. I did read Yennefer’s name and I knew about her relationship with Geralt but I wasn’t sure how well you knew her and how well they knew each other and I didn’t think she would bring him here. I didn’t want to make you think about something that wasn’t gonna happen but now it actually DID happen and I am SO SORRY, Julian. Please don’t be mad!” he begged, his eyes were blown wide in shock.  
Jaskier smiled, hoping it seemed genuine enough. “ I´m not mad at you, Markus. You didn’t know. And you´re right. If you would’ve told me I probably would’ve freaked out before hand and this whole feast would be a disaster now.” Markus pulled him into one of his now very familiar hugs. The ones who made you feel ... something. As if all of the pieces you thought had been lost, suddenly returned to you and glued themselves back together again. He sighed, letting this hug go on a bit longer than it needed to be. 

When he finally pulled away Markus let his hand rest on his shoulder for a second longer. “ I truly am sorry. If something like this happens again, I will inform you. I promise.” Jaskier smiled, this time a bit more warmly. “ I know. And thank you for everything.”   
They both stared at each other a moment longer and then went back to their duties. 

.............

Gearalt hat almost reached his limit of human interaction for the next month. Why are there so many people here? He was just glad that most of them didn’t seem to recognize him or care if they did. He had finally stopped following Yen around, in favour of standing in a rather hidden corner, where he could still spectate the whole thing. He took a sip of the ale and noticed how Yen was being led by a lord towards another room. Everything went well apparently. 

He let out a sigh, releasing some of the tension. He let his gaze wander through the crowd. All of them were dress up in an unnecessarily elegant fashion. This wasn’t a queens ball. But most lords were proud; went through the world, rubbing their coin underneath every ones nose, even if they didn’t want to hear it. The lot of them would rather talk about next seasons fashion trends than how to actually help the people they were judging about. There were exceptions of course; he could admit that. Some of them wanted to make decent coin and actually help the people. Some didn’t care that much about fashion or rubbing their coin under unwilling noses. Not many of them though. He could count them on his hands. 

He huffed and let his gaze wander above the crowd once more before he wanted to – well he wasn’t sure what he was gonna do. Something other than standing in a corner. Probably looking if Yen was ready to go yet. Suddenly his gaze fell on an all too familiar figure. His chest suddenly felt too tight to breath and his head a little too dizzy. 

He tried not remember their last encounter. The moment he had calmed down enough to think clearly, he had wanted to apologize, to get him back. But his path had let him in a different direction, leading him to Ciri. And Yennefer again. They had somehow made it work and he could admit, he was a little proud of himself and Yen to finally have sorted out their friendship. They had both been in love with other people and were only meant to be friends. He hadn’t met Tissaia yet but he knew way too much about her anyway he was sure he´d recognize her anyway if he ran into her. And Jaskier? Well this way the first time he had seen him since that day.   
Why hadn’t he stayed? Sure he had been cruel to him, remembering the words made him flinch and he couldn’t even imagine what Jaskier felt like. But he must have known, that he didn’t mean them? That he had just lashed out at him for all the wrong reasons and that he, stupid like he can be, took all of his anger and frustration out on him without meaning any of it. Sure when Jaskier had initially had approached him, he didn’t want anything to do with him but after the whole encounter with the elves? He had been shocked that he still wanted to travel with him. That he wanted to write anything about him. That he was worth being told about. So he didn’t gallop away, let him write his songs and saved him from all kinds of men, raving about their “tainted woman”. Jaskier must have known, that he wouldn’t let just anyone travel with him, right? 

Geralts grip tightened around his cup as he saw him talking with this Markus, hidden at the other end of the room. They were clearly quite close. But he couldn’t pinpoint the exact nature of their relationship and it was driving him slowly mad. He knew he didn’t have a right to be jealous. He had fucked it up himself. But that didn’t mean he liked seeing someone else talking so intimately with Jaskier. They stood a little too close, Markus rambling about something he wasn’t sure he wanted to know about and Jaskier smiling at him. Geralt growled slightly. He didn’t like Markus. He watched them a few minutes more. Suddenly Markus jumped into Jaskiers arm, who a little hesitant snuggled right into the hug himself. 

“Spying on your boyfriend instead of actually talking to him? Low blow, Geralt. Low blow. Just talk to him.” Geralt did not flinch. He didn’t. He was just repositioning himself. He glared at Yen. “Not my boyfriend. “ “But you like him to be.” It wasn’t a question and it didn’t need answering. So he didn’t.   
“So what are we gonna do about the curse?” “We can only figure this out by talking to him. I don’t sense anything on him and I´m sure you don’t either. I´m also pretty sure he wouldn’t actually talk to me unless for something “professional”, so you have to do the talking.” Geralt grunted, unsure himself if its out of happiness or dread. “You want me to play babysitter?”, Yennefer teased. He ignored her and walked over towards Jaskier. He was glad Yen took his silence as a confirmation. 

\----

Jaskier slowly walked ack into the crowd. He wasn’t sure, who to talk next to. Maybe he should finally eat something first though? He hadn’t had a lot of appetite in the past months but he wasn’t sure when he last had eaten anything at all and that was usually a sign of “You should definitely eat something”. So he turned around towards the buffet- and immediately collapsed into a taller, more muscular chest. 

“Oh ! I´m a so sorry my lo- Geralt. And Yennefer.” He looked at them, sighing inwardly. Of course he would run into them once more this evening. He just hadn’t thought, he´d literally would run into them. He composed himself fast and gave them a what he hoped was a charming smile.   
“Is the feast to your liking?” Geralt stared at him in confusion, as if to say “ You know I hate these kinds of things. “ Part of him wanted to ask, why he had tagged along in the first place but knowing will be worse than being left in the dark. Though that had never been his philosophy, right now it seemed the better of two evils. In favour of letting his curiosity get the better of him, he politely asked a question.

“Well I at least hope your business here went well, yes? “  
“You hope... our business we- What the fuck Jaskier?” He hadn’t heard that name in so long. Not from these lips anyway. It felt so familiar and foreign at the same time. His heart was beating a bit faster and he had to cross his hands behind his back to not start fidgeting.   
Jaskier was starting to loose his patience. He just wanted to get this evening done with and never have to see him again. He looked gave a quick search to find Markus but he seemed busy. It´s fine. He could handle a few more minutes of small talk. There’s nothing else to say anyway. Destiny has founds it´s way and Yen and Geralt seemed to be on more than speaking terms again, if both their appearance here was to go by. 

Jaskier just nodded in confirmation, his smile not leaving his face. He took a look at Yennefer, who seemed to be more amused than anything else. Great. She probably loved this. “Well if that’s all, I must really atten-“ “Jaskier!”, Geralt growled. He frowned , a bit taken back and unsure why Geralt suddenly seemed so angry and frustrated but he didn’t care. Couldn’t care. Geralts feelings weren’t any of his business. Well as long as he didn’t ruin this feast or a deal anyway.   
“Come with me!” It wasn’t an option to go or not to go, cause Geralt had already taken him by his arm, dragging him back into the corner he had just stood with Markus. He threw a confused glance to Yennefer, who just rolled her eyes but followed them. When they finally reached that corner, Geralt let go of him. Jaskier composed himself. He shot Markus, who had followed this situation, a reassuring look and nodded curtly. Markus of course understood and nodded himself, as if to say “Call me if you need help.” Jaskier smiled grateful, and turned back to Geralt, who was obviously displeased by this short exchange. He didn’t understand why but brushed it off as Geralt being weird with emotions again.

“Okay what the fuck is going on with you, Jaskier? Why are you here? And since when are you a viscount? And most importantly: Why are you behaving. So fucking weird.” Well that was unexpected. One would think, that most of these answers are pretty obvious.   
“Well I am here because I for one have to make an appearance as a viscount. I also have to get over a few deals and thirdly because I did help plan this whole thing with Markus so it would seem logical that I at least show my face here.” If was quite unfamiliar to have both of theirs attention on him like that. As if they were trying to figure out a puzzle, that they couldn’t solve. Yennefer had raised her brow, while Geralts face just soured by the mention of Markus. He still didn’t understand what he had against him.   
“I`ve been a viscount or rather destined to be one since I´ve been born and I´m sure I mentioned it before. Or well I thought you´d recognize my name. As for the other questions ... I´m not sure I understand?” 

\-----

Why was Jaskier so freaking calm? He wasn’t even doing any of his ridiculous hand gestures? He stood still like statue, unless he was talking. He even stayed polite ? When has he ever been so polite? Even at the ball in Cintra he had been commenting on one or the other situation. But now? He seemed so unlike himself. Normally he would have even teased him about the number of words he had just said. Or commented something sarcastic. Just something. He seemed like a washed up copy of his Jaskier, like doll, who was trying to imitate him and was failing miserably. There was no hidden smirk in his eyes and he didn’t seem to be able to relax for a second. He threw a helpless look towards Yen but she seemed just as confused as he was, just with a little more amusement than concern. 

“Why are you like THIS?”, he pressed out, pointing at Jaskiers... everything. “So stuck up? So stiff? You´re not like this! That isn’t you! Are you cursed ? Did something happen?” He was now pleading, wanting Jaskier to show any sing of what happened to him since.. well   
Yennefer leaned over to him. “He could´ve been cursed to forgotten what happened to him. His memory been replaced. I could search his mind though.” She looked back at Jaskier. “But just for completion: Do you remember running into another witch or mage or something, who could´ve cursed you to be ...well like this?” 

“ So let me get this straight: You guys think that I am cursed. Because I more composed and behaving professionally,? Because I´m standing up straight and don’t fidget as much? “ Jaskier smiled turned a little too bright for this revelation and Geralt has never been more uncomfortable. “Well to answer you questions and open up your eyes to information you clearly did not know about me, despite not having hidden any of it: I am a lord. And I have my duties. In those duties, I have to behave professionally and be as you say ´stuck up and stiff´. On the road I of course did not have these kind of duties but in this environment I do. So in conclusion; I am behaving like. A. Lord.”

Jaskiers voice had become more silent yet the slightly threating tone in it gave both of them chills. Although Yennefer didn’t know him so well, she understood how wrong it felt to see Geralts happy go lucky, sassy and always flirting bard so different.   
“Now excuse me, I have to meet a few more of those duties.” With one last unsettling smile, Jaskier turned curtly and went towards Markus in a few strides. 

Neither of them said anything, too caught up in processing Jaskiers speech. Geralt finally let out a breath, unaware of even holding it. He turned to Yen. “ So not a curse than.” , she stated. “What else could it be? Why is he ..I mean I .. why didn’t I know.. Fuck!”, Geralt cursed. 

“ I think its just..”, Yennefer started. She look at Jaskier talking to Markus and some other lords. “What?! Spit it out Yen. What do you think?” She ignored his request. “What was your relationship like? I mean before you met me?” He stared at her for a second, jaw tight. Then looked away musing about this question. 

\---

“Are you alright?”, Markus whispered in his ear. Jaskier looked at him with a small smile. “Yeah. Yeah I think so. He – well they are just so.. so frustrating. But it´s fine. “ Markus looked at him a few seconds longer and squeezed his hand but luckily didn’t say anything else. 

They spend the rest of the evening next to each other, going over their deals. At some point Markus pushed a bowl of food into his hands. He didn’t taste anything but he did stop feeling so light headed. At some point the crowd started to thin out. It was later than Jaskier would’ve liked to stay. He sighed.  
“Let´s go upstairs. We wouldn’t want to waste our nice room and I’m in need of some sleep. I´m sure you do too Julian.” Jaskier nodded gratefully and let himself be lead to there room. 

While Markus took off his jacket and boots, Jaskier just sat onto his bed. Markus sat next to him. “Sooo.. Geralt of Rivia?” Jaskier hummed in agreement. “Look. I know you don’t want to talk about any of that ...but it might help?” Jaskier just kept staring into the void. “ I don’t mean now or to me bu-“ “I travelled with him for more than two decades.”, he rasped out.

“Two decades. I knew from the beginning that he didn’t really want me there. I mean I did push him to let me accompany him. But I had foolishly believed that that had changed over the years. That he had started to want me around . He had helped me a lot and I had helped him. But well... it wasn’t enough apparently. Destiny had a different plan and I never did fit into that plan.”  
Markus knew better than to say anything. He laid an arm around Jaskier and pulled him to his chest. For the first time in months he felt like crying. But no tears seemed to want to leave his body. So he grabbed onto Markus a little tighter - Markus yelped suddenly.

Jaskier jumped back, confused and than realised it hadn’t been a yelp it had been a laugh. “Ohh are you ticklish?”   
“NO! I´m not!”, Markus lied, yelling out the words a little too fast. He pushed himself a bit further on the bed but with a mischievous glint in his eyes, Jaskier leapt onto him, pushing him down on the bed and began to tickle him. “Oh so you´re a liar now? Mister perfect a liar?” Markus tried to defend himself, but Jaskier had the upper hand. “ Get OFF of me! You dumbnut!”, he yelped. “With shoes on the bed? The poor bed Julian!” Markus mocked. 

Suddenly the door was thrown open and Geralt came in, a wild and angry look in his eyes. He stared at them in shock. “What the HELL are you doing ? You know what! I don’t care!” Geralt threw Markus a dirty look and then turned to leave. Jaskier realised how their position must look like. Markus laying in a certain state of undress, Jaskier on top of him, hair a mess, one hand holding Makrus hands in place the other undeath his shirt. Both are panting heavily for some air. Ohhh

“NO!”, he screamed. “NO Geralt!. YOU do not GET to leave! Not after you barge into my life again, not even acknowledging what you´ve done to me. You do not GET to come in here being all jealous ex, when you never even thought of me as a friend!” Jaskier had stood up and had walked up to Geralt. You do NOT get to do that. I wont allow it! And why the hell are you even jealous huh? You’re not my friend and you´re CERTAINLY not my boyfriend. “ Silence fell over them, only Jaskiers heavy breathing filling the room. 

Geralt wasn’t prepare for that. He barley even knew why he had run after them. What he had wanted to do. Probably talk. See him one last time before they left. He couldn’t stand seeing them together, constantly brushing hands and whispering in each others ears. He knew, that Jaskier was right. He had no right to be jealous and what they did in their own time was none of his business. And now Jaskier stood right in front of him. Closer than he had hoped to get to Jaskier again. But not in the way he wanted. Not ever. After he had reconciled with Yennefer, they had gotten drunk one evening. Somehow that had let her to telling him all about her former mentor, she had learned to value as a friend, hoping they will become more some day. Somehow this had lead him to open up about his feelings towards a certain bard. As soon as he had realized his feelings, he gave up on his search for him. He knew he won´t ever be satisfied, having him as a friend and he wasn’t one to hide such a big thing. At least not from him. But when he saw him here, he wanted nothing more than make him understand. To apologize and have him whatever way he wanted. Even if it meant to constantly see him with Markus, he needed them both to be okay. For Jaskier to be okay. Even if that wasn’t with him anymore.   
That had been the plan at least. 

However, staring into Jaskiers blue eyes almost consumed by darkness, his jaw painfully clenched and hair dishevled, he wanted to through all of this away and kiss him. That would make him even angrier though and he had to restrain himself, “  
“What ? Are you just gonna stare at me all night or are you actually gonna answer? “ “Hmmm” “Wow. Thanks Geralt. Real good. I now know EVERYTHING ! Dammit Geralt! “

The sudden change from the quite, professional and composed Jaskier, he had seen all evening, to the now angry and tired Jaskier in front of him was messing with him. Now that he really looked at Jaskier, he noticed the lines underneath his eyes, the slight purple undertone. Jaskiers gaze dropped and he let out a long breath. “Just go Geralt. Please. Go and play happy family with Yennefer and leave me alone, okay? I can´t deal with this whole shit again.” He now sounded just tiered and worn out. Pleading in a quite voice, not looking him in the eyes anymore and stepping back towards Markus. He had forgotten they weren’t alone.

“No!”, Geralt panicked. “No. I can´t.” Jaskier look up at him in confusion. “ Can´t leave or can´t play happy family?” “Yes! I mean both. I – I dammit why is this so hard. Okay first of all, Yennefer and I are just friends.” Jaskier huffed. “And I´m supposed to believe that? “ “We are just friends. She mostly helps me training Ciri. In return I accompany her to a deal or two.” “That’s why you´re both here”, Jaskier mused. 

Geralt nodded in agreement. “ Exactly. As for the ´leaving´ part. I can of course leave. But I don’t want to until I made it right. Between us. I wanted to apologize. Jaskier I am so sorry for what I said to you back on the mountain. I didn’t mean any of that. I was just frustrated with destiny and myself. I was angry that Yen couldn’t see what I saw, not knowing she had been right and that we´re better of as friends. After I had calmed down, I wanted to find you. Believe me I did. But then a job here and a job there pushed me in different directions and then I decided to find Ciri first. But then Cintra fell and Yen needed help and Ciri did too. We were on the run for weeks. Yen and I got closer again, both wanting the best for Ciri. Yen and I began talking again about more than the next hunt and she realised her feelings towards her mentor and I- I realised I didn’t want Yen LIKE that. I wanted you back. I had missed you´re voice and you´re singing and the strum of your lute. But most of all I just missed you and that I want you the way I had thought I wanted Yennefer.” 

He didn’t know, what suddenly came over him. Barley remembering what he had just said, just hoping that Jaskier would understand what he means. What he wants them to be like. Jaskier however just stared at him, as if to find an answer. The silence was unbearably heavy and he had trouble breathing again, only letting small amounts of air out. Finally Jaskier had seemed to have found what he had been looking for. 

“I think that is the most you have ever said to me.” Geralt, taken by surprise, let out a short laugh. “Don’t get used to it.” The smile he got in return, although small, was the most beautiful smile had had ever seen. His heart longed to reach out, to kiss those same lips, that could play with such a smile. He didn’t. 

“Look Geralt. I have forgiven you a very long time ago. Part of me knew, that I shouldn’t have walked away like that either, that you were just lashing out and I had been the next best person for that. But I also know that I took part in your misery. Your destiny. I didn’t do it intentionally of course but I did. And I never apologised for that either. Your apology is nonetheless good to hear. I accept it of course.” He noticed how Geralts whole body suddenly lost any and all tension. How his eye looked a little brighter and he graced a smile he had never seen on him before. “However: You hurt me, Geralt. You really, really hurt me. And I can´t forget that. At least not for now.”  
Geralt nodded happily. “ I understand. Thank you. For accepting my apology.” 

“To everything else you said” every tension that had just left him, seemed to be back in an instant. “I love you too. I always did. I had been content with it for a while, knowing you´ll never like me like that but you didn’t had anyone else like that either. But then..” Jaskier looked whistfully on the ground. “Then I met Yennefer.” Jaskier nodded. “And I was happy every time we didn’t see her and dreaded the missions we did. And then she stepped into the tavern and I knew this...”   
Geralt tried to ignore the sudden pay he felt for Jaskier. How hard it must´ve been for him. This whole evening had been pure torture for him and Jaskier must´ve felt like this for years. “I cant assure you. There is nothing going on with her. Not now. Not ever again.”, he pressed out. “Jaskier looked up at him again. A nod. 

“So. What does that mean now? For us I mean?” “Well what did you have in mind, oh mighty witcher?”, Jaskier grinned. And wasn’t that the most beautiful sight he had ever seen? A grin so bright and cheerier. A grin that he had caused? 

\----

From then on, everything moved quite fast. Yen and Geralt transported back to Ciri, preparing for her and them for another traveling companion. Jaskier and Markus on the other hand, tied up loose ends and made sure, they found a suitable replacement for Jaskier. While he had been glad to see his parents for a while, it had been quite exhausting. But knowing he had another home and Markus by his side to support him he had finally talked with his parents about everything, letting them know how much it had affected him. With Jaskier opening up like this and a few pushes for Markus, they finally accepted, that Jaskier wasn’t designed to e a lord, that he needed to be on the road. That although he was smart enough to sit back and relax, he needed to go out and tell the stories of this land. It would take some time and a few more disagreements before they were an actual happy family but it was a start. 

When has been said and done, Jaskier stood in front of his house with Markus, waiting for Geralt. I was about a week later but he felt just as happy. Part of him feared, Geralt wouldn’t come but before he could finish that thought he saw him in the crowd. Markus and Geralt actually did get along now, which was something he feared wont happen anytime soon. But Geralt had soon understood their relationship and seen what a good friend and human being he was. The said their goodbyes with a promise of another visit soon and a letter ever sooner. 

When they lazily stalked back to Geralts- no their camp, they relished in the comfortable silence.   
“Oh god!” Jaskier suddenly stopped, Geralt immediately lookin out for a threat. “What if Ciri doesn’t like me? What if she hates me? What will we do? I – She is your destiny and I just –“ “ hey. Don´t worry, Jask.” Geralt turned towards him, laying a finger underneath his chin and pushed it up a bit, so he could look him in the eyes. “ She will love you. I know she will. Because its you. And besides. She knows all of your songs and she already loves them. So of course she will love you too.”   
“Just like you do.” Geralt smiled easily. “ Yes.”, he whispered. With a happy sigh, Jaskier finally leaned a bit more forward and closed the distance. It was just a sweet, chaste kiss but it set a fire through their bodies. “ Now come. They´re waiting for us.”, Geralt murmured. Smiling, with their hands intervened, they crossed the last few meters, towards their camp. 

It wasn’t everything suddenly fine. Of course not. It never is. But they had each other back, knowing the other will try to understand. That the other truly cares the same way as they do. Some days Jaskier still barley talked, rather stayed in the shadows and watched. Others he jumped on stage and danced around like he has done so many times before. But either way Geralt was there for him. Just like Jaskier was there for him, when he had trouble getting through to Ciri or needed a distraction.   
Yennefer and Jaskier built an unlikely but not unwelcome friendship, mostly based on sassing one another or making fun of the weird townspeople they came across. Ciri, predictably, closed him immediately into her heart and Jaskier her. It was a good balance, for the hard training she did with Yen and the over protective nature of Geralt, to have a storyteller like him there. That he could tell her all the dirt on some of those pretentions nobles she had to meet as a child, did help.   
In the end, Geralt realised, that although destiny has her plans, it doesn’t mean you cant have a few plans yourself. There will always be paths you have no choice in taking but the ones you do have a choice in, should not suffer from that.

The end


End file.
